


The Fear of Losing Them

by wingsofshingeki



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Multi, snk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 02:30:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1588346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsofshingeki/pseuds/wingsofshingeki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Krista is a freshman at Trost University, Home of the Titans. Moving from her abusive family she had to deal with for multiple years, and her past gone wrong, she is now a full time student living in a dormitory. Meanwhile, Ymir, a sophomore, is forced to share a dorm with this new student, and is NOT happy about it. Never meeting this young girl, she already knows the reputations that freshman's have, and she doesn't appreciate it. </p><p>Marco Bott, a sophomore, shares a freshman anatomy class with Krista and befriends her. Another sophomore, Jean, his neighbor in the single dormitory, has somewhat noticed him and they are acquaintances. Marco, however, is unaware what comes next as his attractive neighbor is running through his mind more and more lately.</p><p>Eren Jaeger is a junior at TU, and is having a rough time staying with his studies with so many problems going by with his family. While his home life grows troublesome, his friend from his homeland, Armin, shares a dorm with him and attempts at helping him through this while they move in for the new year. Eren joins a new class, Physiology, and then meets Mr. Ackerman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Day

Ymir stared at her coffee with a look of utter disgust on her face. "I mean, why do they have to assign dorm partners? My last one was bad enough." She couldn't stand having to share living quarters with anyone besides- well, anyone. They smell, their rude, and they don't ever leave her alone. Studying is hard enough without someone knocking on her door every five minutes to ask about a trigonometry question that they could just look up. Ugh, people.  
"You never know, though, maybe she could be the love of you life-eh?" Annie scoffed.  
Ymir glared. "Yeah, right. I don't plan on love anytime soon. People aren't really my thing. Besides, your the only girl that I can stand to even be around. And it's not like your too fond of people either."  
"You'll never make friends with that attitude, you know."   
"Who needs friends? Their good for nothing."  
The sound of a bell rang off the walls of the coffee shop, as two men walked in; one tall and thin, another shorter and bulkier. Each one scanned the customers, till finding Ymir and Annie, then smirking and heading towards them. "You know, you guys could have just shot us a text and come over, it's not like we were doing anything." The taller one announced, taking a seat near Ymir. "Well, accept for video games." The shorter one admitted.   
"Reiner, we all know you and your obsession with Call of Duty, plus your guy's place is a dump. It'd be boring plus infested with rats." Annie argued.  
"Hey! I try to clean up but he just makes such a damn mess of everything all the time." Bertholdt sighed. "It's just not worth the time anymore. But anyways, why are we hanging here? We could always go to Ymir's place since your dad won't let anyone at yours."  
Annie laughed, "That's kinda the whole point were hiding out here, isn't it? She doesn't want to meet her new roommate. She would sleep behind the counter here if she could."  
"Hey, don't laugh about it! This is a serious problem. I don't understand why I can't just live in a single dorm." She complained.   
"Because you can't afford it." Annie stood up. "But seriously, it's two in the day. We have orientation tomorrow and I still haven't started to write my conclusion for that stupid summer paper. Face your damn fears, Ymir. It's time to put your big girl panties on and suck it up."   
"Don't get sassy with me now; why not just another half hour? C'mon." Ymir pleaded as she looked at the two boys sitting beside her, but their faces showed no mercy.  
"Seriously Ymir, you can't hide from her forever. It's going to be a whole year, and you best start now if you'd like it to be a good one." Reiner smiled mockingly, as the two boys stood and pushed their chairs in.  
Ymir sighed and drank the rest of her coffee in one quick gulp, then got up swiftly. "You guys really suck as friends, you know that?"  
"Hurry up if you want us to walk your there; I have to get home by four if I don't want to get my ass kicked by my dad." Annie headed towards the door and the group started on the sidewalk, towards the dorms.  
"What's wrong, having troubles with Papa Bear again? Jeez, Annie, when are you gonna grow up and cuss him out? Your nineteen and in college for crying out loud." Reiner exclaimed sarcastically.  
Annie's gaze cut him like a knife, and he shut up instantly. "I can tell him to screw off anytime I want, alright? I just choose not to. If you were me, you'd understand."  
"Alright, you two, just calm down, alright? We can all settle this like adults. Annie's business is her own, and you aren't her mother, okay Reiner? Let her do what she wants, your not in charge of her." Bertholdt tried to appease.  
"Stop trying to poke the bear Reiner, we have bigger problems ahead of us." Ymir instructed. Her dorm was only a short distance away from the coffee shop, as it was mostly meant for discounted coffee's for students that attend TU. The dorms were almost in front of them now.  
"Honestly, Ymir. What's the big deal about a new girl? It's only a year. You'll be out and about and not having to deal with people as much as you want as soon as it's over." Reiner stared as they neared the entrance of the dorms. "Well, this is where we say our goodbye's. Have fun, Ymir." Reiner smiled and laughed as the others said their swift goodbye's. "Let me know how it goes, okay? Shoot me a text anytime." Bertholdt supported as they walked in the opposite direction, Reiner and Annie making remarks as the moved down the street.  
"Yeah.." Ymir glanced at her window on the second floor. The curtains were open. Did she leave them open? No, definitely not. Great, she was one of those people. Walking up to the entrance, she opened the door and walked into the lobby. Taking as much time as she could, she walked towards the stairs. Each step felt like another pound was being put on her shoulders, until she reached the top. The second floor. A few students were helping their new found dorm mates move boxes into their rooms, while others were laughing and talking about God knows what. Sighing, she took the few remaining steps down the hall, until she reached her dorm room. The door was closed. Well, at least she liked her privacy. Ymir took in her surroundings. Same white walls of the hall, same pale beige door, same glossy red numbers of the dorm rooms. A127. Her dorm room. But now it wasn't hers. It was theirs. Taking one last breathe of freedom, she searched the pocket of pants for the key, then slipped it in the hole. Closing her eyes and bracing herself, she unlocked the door and let it slowly open. Light flew into her eyes, obstructing her view for a few moments. She walked in, covering her eyes with her hand, and closed the door shut behind her with her foot. Letting her eye's adjust, she heard a voice.   
"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! I didn't know that would bother you!" The girls voice shattered the silence.  
Ymir's vision finally came back, along with reality. She was able to see what was in front of her, and it was not what was expected. A shorter girl, thin but well proportioned, with glowing blonde hair, the hair of a goddess. And her eye's, oh her eye's. As blue as where the oceans and the sky touch. Her skin was pale, but sun kissed. She was breathtaking. She was putting up a poster- what poster is that? From an anime perhaps? Her bedspread was pink and her side of the room had girly knickknacks placed orderly on her dressed, and a cutesy rug halfway under her bed. A few boxes were left on her bed, some saying "clothes" and others "misc".   
"I can close them if you'd like! That's how they were when I arrived. I just thought it might be good to have some light in here. But I don't mean to impede on your space, that was very rude of me." She hurried towards the curtains.  
"No, no, it's fine, their fine." What was that? What just came out of Ymir's mouth? She hated the curtains open. Why did she say that?  
"Okay, if that's alright." She apologized. "Oh, how rude of me! My name is Christa." She walked towards Ymir, putting out her hand.  
Ymir stared at her hand. It looked so delicate, she was afraid to touch it. "Ymir." She said, gently shaking her hand.  
"Nice to meet you, Ymir. That's such a different name, I like it." Christa smiled pleasingly.  
"Uh- thank you." Ymir couldn't take her eye's off this girl. After a moment, she forced herself to stare at the boxes on her bed. "Do you need any help with those?" Why is she offering her help? That's the last thing she would have wanted to do.  
"That'd be great, actually. I hope you don't mind the poster by the way; I saw you had a couple hanging above your bed and I thought I'd hang mine as well. But if it bothers you, I can take it down." Christa mentioned as she began to unpack her box labeled 'clothes'.  
"It doesn't bother me at all." That was nice. She was never nice. Something's clearly wrong. Why is she feeling this way? She glanced at the girl next to her. Her beauty. Was that it? Or was it something else?


	2. Meanwhile, In Wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean is Marco's neighbor. Get it? NEIGHbor.

Marco leaned against the counter as the young waitress came to take his order at the breakfast bar. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail and she smelled of vanilla. Her bright smile greeted him and while her coffee stained t-shirt screamed for a washing. Wasn't she in his biology class last year? He squinted. Yeah, that's definitely her. The girl who always chewed the back of her pencil, the one who nearly choked on it from being nervous during finals. "Hi, what can I get'cha?" she blurted.   
"Just a coffee please. Two creams and extra sugar, please. Oh, and can you make it a to-go? " He smiled back at her.  
"Coming right up!" She danced away, probably to talk to co-workers. She always talked during class. That's how Marco was, always observing people. He couldn't help it, he'd always been that way. Steam rose as he watched her poor the coffee into a foam cup, glancing at co-workers and laughing, nearly spilling the hot liquid on herself multiple times. She took the creams and poured them in lazily, and put a little less sugar than he would have liked, but he just shrugged it off. Giggling, she put the cap back on and departed from her chat, placing the coffee in front of him and ringing him up.   
"That'll be $2.56." She grinned. She was always smiling in that class. He loved people who smile, but sadly she wasn't his type. He put three dollars on the counter, and smiled sweetly at her. "Keep the change." he insisted, and grabbed the coffee.  
"Thanks, come again!" She exclaimed And he walked through the door, right as a bell sounded, announcing his exit. He headed back to the single dorm dormitory, coffee in hand. The coffee shop didn't serve the best coffee in town, but it was a short walk away and he got a student discount. He watched as students passed by, excitement in their veins for the new year starting up and orientation beginning tomorrow. It was six o'clock and Marco had different plans rather than going out with friends. He hadn't finished his summer reading quite yet for English, and it was going to be a long night filled with notes and anotating. Why he procrastinated so long, he wasn't quite sure. It was probably the summer days he spent outside enjoying the sun on campus, considering he didn't leave often and he rarely went out with friends. Not that he didn't have friends, just not many that hung around him. Most of them were just classmates he had the joy of spending some lunch times together with talking about something that went on in class that day, or a new piece of gossip they heard in the lounge.   
Nearing the entry of the dorms, he grabbed his keys out of his pocket and opened the door. The lounge was filled with students, some chatting near vending machines, others filling gaps on the couches. He walked up the stairs and began to head for the third floor. Being a male dormitory, student's never lasted very long inside. The school having a boy to girl ratio of 60/40, you could never be in your dorm for long. Marco never understood the whole game, finding girls just to use for one night of pleasure then leaving them for another. But, then again, he didn't understand boys. Being a male himself he more understood the woman side of things, which he never fully got. He didn't care if it made him sound girly, which he wasn't, but he always felt things more than others. Boys during high school would ignore him, and he'd mostly hang around girls. Nobody called him gay, but then again nobody really talked to him.   
He finally reached his doorway, but not paying attention, he missed the lock and dropped his keys, nearly spilling his coffee on himself. "Dammit," he cursed and bent down to grab them.  
"You'd better watch out, you spill that coffee on the carpet and the dorm adviser might as well ring your neck out," a sarcastic voice sounded. Startled, Marco looked up to see a taller boy standing with his keys at the neighboring room. His look of superiority intimidated Marco, but his looks might as well have slammed him into the ground with a hard push. His hair was dyed light brown while underneath it was shaved to show what seemed like his natural color, a dark brunette. His eye's were filled with mockery just waiting to escape, while his skin was tanned and looked as smooth as silk. His lean but muscular body cursed whoever dare look at it.  
"Uh-yeah, I suppose." Marco responded.  
The boy scoffed. "Anyways, keep an eye out for him, I heard he's a stickler for things like that." He placed his keys inside of the whole and unlocked the door, stepping inside. "See you around," he commented as he shut the door behind him and Marco heard a "click" as the lock shut into place.  
Marco recovered himself from the embarrassment, and unlocked his door quickly. He nearly jumped inside, then shut the door behind him, locking it. Who was that boy? He'd certainly never seen him on campus before or in any of his classes. Was he always that sarcastic? He wasn't sure if he'd be able to spend the rest of the year with someone ridiculing him about his clumsiness. He sighed. Stupid, why should he pay so much attention to it? It's not like he's going to see him much anyways, he spends the majority of his time in classes or in his dorm during the school year. Plus, he needed to get on that summer reading assignment. He sat down at his desk and turned on the lamp. He opened his moss colored backpack that lay beside him, and pulled it out. The book, Lord of the Flies, was an awfully dreadful book when he read it, although very good. He wasn't one for sadness let along gore that involved children, but he had to admit William Golding did a great job. He opened to around the middle of the book and grabbed a highlighter and pencil from the top drawer. Here's to another somewhat sleepless night. He took a sip of coffee, set it down next to him, and began to read.  
Just as he got through the first paragraph, noise exploded from the room next door. What was that? Music? "You'd better watch out, I'm gonna get your ass you stupid imprisoned son-of-a-bitch!" he heard. Of course, thin walls. He forgot about the walls of the dorms, as his last neighbor was very quite and kept to himself. At least they were nearly alone on this isle of the floor. Most of the students surrounding them had night jobs to keep up with tuition. He could thank his parents for not having to pay that.   
Maybe he could just ignore the noise, it's not like he was going to do this all night, right? Orientation was tomorrow, anyways, and he had to go to sleep sometime. "Yeah baby! You're gonna get it tonight!" dictated his neighbor. Alright, maybe he wouldn't keep quite for long, but could he at least restrain from making it sound like he was sleeping with someone right next door?  
"That's it! Take it like a man you big ugly hunk of rotting flesh!" Okay, perhaps not. Marco continued to concentrate as hard as he could on the book, but after twenty minutes and a few more remarks later, he didn't think he could take it any longer. He got up from his desk and headed towards his door and out into the hallway. A few steps later he stood in front of his neighbors doorway, and was about ready to knock when he recalled what happened earlier. Those eye's. He wasn't ready to deal with that sarcasm again. Slowly stepping away, he returned to his dorm and slid onto the ground, his back against the door. He really needs the quiet to concentrate, but college is about learning. He could learn to ignore. He sighed, then stood up slowly and made his way back to his desk, slipping onto the chair. Opening the second drawer, he pulled out a pair of earphones and put them into his ipod. He put the buds in his ears, and turned on the most soothing music he had; John Legend of course. Finally, he could somewhat concentrate. He took another sip of coffee, and his night began.


	3. Accidents Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you want more updates go ahead and follow my tumblr; wingsofshingeki . I'm also open to ideas c:

Loud noises shot from the room, as Armin walked into his dorm, keys being shoved back into his pocket. "What's going on in here?" He asked, a mocha in his hand.  
Eren looked up from a group of boxes, some smashed, some broken open with remnants of what used to be a fishbowl on the floor. "Nothing. I couldn't get the stupid tape off and now we have this mess to clean up." he exclaimed, reaching for the broom by the closet that they now shared. He winced and put his arm down, as Armin grabbed it and handed it to him with his one open hand. He set down his mocha on a desk that they had somehow gotten through the small door, and began to pick up boxes, setting them down away from the broken glass. Eren began to sweep it up and back into the empty box.   
"Damn, I was so hoping to have a fish while we can't even barely afford to feed ourselves," Armin smirked childishly, and glanced up at Eren. Apparently he had other things on his mind, for he had a stern look on his face. "C'mon, Eren, it's not so bad. This is better, you know. We're not stuck with a bunch of underclassmen now, we're in the upper dorms, y'know, people our age." He smiled, offering his friend a little hope.  
"It's not the fact that we have to move dorms, it's my mom. My dad called again. Her condition isn't changing, in fact it's gotten a little worse. They don't know how long she has, or if she'll even get better. Man, I should've been there, Armin. I'm a bad son, I really am." He had stopped sweeping, and tears were welling up in his eyes. He didn't cry often, and if he did, it was often from anger or stress or both.  
"It's not your fault, Eren, really. You need to stop blaming yourself." He put a hand on his friends shoulder. "It was an accident. She looked both ways, she took precaution. Who was to know that the guy would run a red light?" He felt Eren tense, probably remembering seeing it on the news, a hit-and-run accident, just as he got a delayed call from his father. Flashbacks took Armin to that night, Eren staring into space, a look of shock spread across his face. He had dropped his phone, grabbed his jacket from behind the door, and ran out of their shared room, dashing down the hall and running as fast as he could to the hospital. Eventually he stopped, almost puking from running too much, and Armin called a friend for a ride. Catching up to Eren had been a real effort, considering Armin's out-of-shape body, but Eren was alone and scared, and the only way to fix that was to follow.   
"I don't blame myself! I blame him!" Eren suddenly shouted, shoving his shoulder away, as Armin's hand fell. "They pull him in for questioning then don't even charge him. 'Not enough evidence' my ass! He had the same car, witnesses even said they saw his licence plate! Who's to say that they weren't valid statements? They were there!" Tears once again welled in his eyes. It had been around seven months, and with a broken back and ribs that had pierced through her lungs, she had been fighting hard, but when would that run out? Eren's mom was one of the strongest mothers that Armin had ever met, but he even knew that day by day her condition was getting worse.   
Armin sighed. "Eren, I'm really sorry. I am. But sooner or later you're going to have to forget about him. It's not worth it. Just focus on your mom and her getting better." That was the best advice he had. What else was there to say to someone who's mother was most likely not going to make it? They were dragging her life on, with oxygen machines and meds that they could barely afford. Already, Eren's college fund was about to run dry.   
"I'm trying to! But it's just so damn hard..Seeing her laying in that bed, so weak, it's too hard. Whenever I go to see her, she always gets to tired to talk. Eventually she'll just be laying in that bed alone, unable to speak, and she'll be as good as dead." He looked down at the remaining glass on the floor. Armin sucked in his breath. Eren had never said anything like that about his mom, ever.   
"Eren.." Armin began, but was silenced as Eren spoke.   
"Armin, it's fine. Just help me clean this up.." He stated, hair covering his eyes. Was he crying again? Or had he gone numb? Armin thought about freshman year and Eren coming with a fist full of confidence and a spark in his eye. He was so happy to get away from his family and chores and everyday life that he had gotten so bored with. Armin picked up the bigger shards of glass and began to plop them into the box, and Eren began to sweep again. They sat there in silence for what seemed like hours, when all of a sudden; "Armin, do you honestly think she'll make it?" Eren said, tears dropping onto the floor.  
Armin was startled, and once realizing the question, he sighed. "I sure hope so Eren, I really do. She's a strong woman, your mom is." He stared at the broken shards on the ground. He began to pick them up quickly, one by one, until there was nothing but tiny shards that could be swept up with the broom. Eren attempted at sweeping the remainder into the box quietly and dried his tears with his sleeve.   
"Class starts in a couple days," Armin said faintly, trying to change the subject and get Eren's mind off things.  
"Yeah.." Eren replied.  
"How about I unpack things and you can study up? You said you were having problems understanding some stuff from last semester and you don't want to start off the new one with bad grades in information already taught. Plus, aren't you taking a new class? With a new teacher, right? Since it's their first year, they might not have the strategy down, so I'd also suggest studying up on that. Just a little nerd advice." Armin smiled at him, the same smile from when they were kids in grade school.  
Eren stared at him for a moment, his dark green eyes reading his face as if he was rereading his favorite book. "Thanks, I think I'll take you up on that offer," he said after a pause, and passed the broom over.   
Armin watched him get onto the top bunk, studying his movements. His best friend since second grade, and he still could stare at him and find new things to notice. Eren was surely one of the worlds wonders, and Armin had the honor of sharing a dorm room with him.


	4. No Rest for the Wicked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short guys :c

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Ymir slammed open her eyes. What the hell is that annoying sound? What time is it? She rubbed her eye's angrily, and looked across the room. That Christa girl was still asleep, apparently. The young girl's delicate eyes were closed, her mouth in a peaceful half smile. She must be having a good dream, Ymir thought. But how the hell could she sleep through that annoying alarm clock of hers? Ymir checked her phone. 7:00 am. She silently cursed. School hadn't started yet, and she had planned on sleeping in on the last day before class started, but it seemed like that idea was gone. She didn't even want to go to Orientation; it was mostly for freshman, but was encouraged for everyone to go because of the new things happening during the upcoming school year.  
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Does that thing ever stop? She sighed, and moved the covers over. Stepping out of bed was a pain, mostly because Ymir hated mornings. She moved across the room, and reached across the girl, tapping the "Sleep" button, when- "Oh, I'm sorry! Did that wake you up?" A sleepy voice sounded from underneath her.  
Ymir jumped back, startled, "You're kidding me right?! You don't wake up at that annoying sound but you wake up when I turn it off?"  
The girl giggled, "Yeah, I suppose so," the bright eye'd girl said, sitting up. "Again, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up, roomie." She gave Ymir a gentle smile.  
No. Hell no. Roomie? Did she just call her 'roomie'? "It's Ymir. Nothing else." She said angrily. It was bad enough she had to share a room with someone, but one thing she wouldn't let stand is nicknames. They weren't friends. They weren't going to "chill" with each other. They just shared a room. Nothing else.  
"Oh, uh, okay, sorry." Christa looked started and a bit like a child. Ymir sighed. Perhaps she was being too rough with her, being that they had just met. But at least she was learning early.  
"It's fine, just don't do it again." She exhaled, and headed back to her bed.  
"Are you going back to bed?" Christa asked, with a tint of anxiety in her eyes.  
"Well, yeah, duh, it's seven." Ymir eye'd her. "Is there something wrong with that?"  
"No, no, not really, it's just-" She moved a piece of hair from her face, which immediately fell back into place. "I don't really know anyone here, and I was really hoping you might go with me."  
Go with her? To Orientation? She was kidding, right? "It's not really my thing," Ymir stated, and turned around to face the wall, tugging the blankets back over her.  
"Oh, alright-" She sadly replied, and got up out of bed. Ymir could hear the girl walk to her dresser and open it. She closed her eye's, attempting to fall back asleep.  
She heard ruffling, then a drawer being shut quietly. Trying to focus on sleeping, she ignored the noises until; buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Ymir opened her eye's, annoyed. She turned swiftly, a glare on her eye's, when- scars.  
Christa was standing with her back towards her, bare chested, trying to turn off the alarm clock. Her right arm was facing towards her, and she saw thing white scars, some deeper than others, some darker than others. Had she cut herself? On purpose? They couldn't be from cats; no, they were from blades. No wonder she seemed so fragile. She was breakable.   
Ymir stopped staring as the girl began to turn back around, and she quickly turned her head back towards the wall. She stared at the bare canvas. She had heard of people doing that, but she'd never done it herself. Wouldn't that hurt?  
"I'll go with you."  
"What?"  
"You heard me."   
Ymir turned back, and sat up. "But I'm not changing," she stated. Sweatpants and a tank top would have to do. She began to put on her socks, grabbing her converse. Christa, now clothed, looked puzzled.   
"What made you change your mind?"  
Ymir stopped dead in her tracks. She stared at her fingers, halfway done tying her shoe. "It's just something I should probably go to." She stated, and finished tying. She stood up, grabbing her keys. "Are you ready?" She asked, the same sound of annoyance that was always in her tone.  
"Uh-yeah," Christa rushed, as Ymir opened the door.


End file.
